Attitude: Are Your Core Beliefs Making You Lonely?

eJournal > Attitude: Are Your Core Beliefs Making You Lonely?

by Dr. Lawrence Quell, DC

Wellness Components

As an expansion of the third component of Wellness – Attitude – described in our November 1999 Wellness Components article, we continue with Dr Quell, on core beliefs and relationships.

Everybody has core beliefs. These are the beliefs that you grew up with, positive or negative. You may have been told as a child that you were “stupid,” “you’ll never amount to anything,” “you don’t deserve to be happy,” “you’re ugly” and the list continues.

When these ideas were conveyed, often inadvertently, by the people who raised you, it’s no wonder you tended to think that these statements were true. These statements were emotionally charged and then became the core beliefs about who you think you are today.

All too often it takes failed marriages, collapsed businesses, as well as many years of hurt and therapy before you begin to realize that those negative beliefs that you internalized as a child were false.


A patient, we’ll call Jim, came to the office recently complaining about severe pain in his right big toe. I immediately asked him if the pain was caused by gout, his sad reply was, “No.” He then said that he had already tried several standard treatments for gout unsuccessfully. Upon examination, I noted that Jim’s toe, foot and lower leg were hot and swollen. We then began muscle testing to see if there were emotionally charged events in his life that related to the pain in his toe. It came as no surprise to me that his pain was being brought about by a traumatic event from his childhood, he then recalled a beating he had gotten from his father at that time. By the time we had cleared the event from his nervous system, the toe was already becoming cooler. Jim later told me that new pink tissue was growing under the old wound on his toe.

Clara’s complaint was unrelenting knee pain that had been with her for several months. We did the muscle testing and found that she had been abused at age fourteen and had never told anyone or received the support she needed to clear herself of that traumatic event. After clearing her nervous system of the event, within two days the knee pain was relieved and Clara was feeling more open and less stressed about being around people than she had been in many years.

These two cases are examples of the mind/body connection that we all have. We should never underestimate the power of our mind and emotions to create malfunction in our bodies.

Through the use of modern muscle testing techniques, we can determine which specific core beliefs are stopping your personal growth and making you unhappy. Once the negative beliefs are released from your subconscious mind you are able to begin expressing more of your unique qualities.


According to Dr John Gray, relationships have four seasons; Spring (romantic), Summer (we find that we aren’t perfect), Autumn (we harvest our work), and winter (we resolve the pain of our shadow self). We then return to Spring and start the cycle again.

By now, you are probably asking, “Who is the perfect person for the perfect relationship and do they really exist?” Yes, they do exist. These are the partners who will care deeply enough for one another to face their shadow selves – where their wounded inner child lives, who desperately wants to be healed. They will also be strong and open enough to do the work to heal their wounded inner child.

Long-term, fun, stable relationships last because the partners are willing to address the issues within themselves and bring balance to their conscious and sub-conscious parts so that harmony can exist in their partnership.

It’s never too late to start. Everyone can grow at a pace that is comfortable for them in order to develop the relationships they really want.

Hugs and Blessings to you all.


Dr Larry Quell is a Chiropractor – a Palmer graduate – who has been in private practice for more than 23 years. He and his practice Quell Chiropractic Center,specialize in an integrated approach to healthcare which includes: NET (Neuro Emotional Technique), NET-SCENE, Relationship Balancing, CRA (Contact Reflex Analysis), Bio-Physics, Laser Acupuncture andNutritional Therapy.

He is the author of the book and tape set How to Activate Your 12 Personal Powers for Life and Balance and the presenter for seminars on “Money, Success and Relationships.” Dr Quell has hosted radio and TV shows on the topic of alternative healthcare. He may be reached in Denver at (303)692-8655, at or by visiting his website.